Best of Vasectomies

There are two words that now put the fear of God into my soul - "You're pregnant!"  

By popular demand, here is the best of vasectomies.   Girls, we love our children, but for most of us the thought of having another one is equated to the pain of walking on hot coals or getting a root canal, the terror of being chased by wild elephants, the dread of Space Mountain, the pinch of a 1,000 needles...should I continue?   I love my kids, BUT I am D.O.N.E!

Do you want to say bye bye to smelly poops, lack of shut eye, throwing up and stretch marks?   Then send your men to Igor for a little snip, snip.   After the big slice and dice we have endured, a little snip, snip should get no argument.  

Now prepare yourself, because you are going to hear the following "How can you let something happen to my precious jewels?" or "I know a guy who said he doesn't orgasm anymore."  or "My friend said the quantity of his ejaculation is diminished" or "I can't, it's my manhood"  or the classic "But it's going to be painful."    For each one of these, the rebuttal need only be a roll of the eyes.
 
Abi, Igor's wife is a dear friend of mine.   Of course, that doesn't guarantee anything, but I've met Igor and he is just wonderful.   He is the kind of man who puts you at ease right away and his stature exudes confidence.   If I had balls I would feel very comfortable putting them in his hands :-)

Dr. Igor Stancik speaks English, German and Russian fluently.  

For appointments, call between Monday – Thursday between 9:00 – 16:00 for Russian, Slovakian, Czech or English speakers:
Mobile: 0043 6991 941 78 11
e-mail: urology-vienna@stancik.at
http://www.urologe-wien.at/english/default.htm

And I'll end in poor taste with some vasectomy humor!
A vasectomy means never having to say you're sorry.

What do a Christmas tree and a man who's had a vasectomy have in common?  They both have ornamental balls.
 
Smiles,
Ruchika

Best of Dentists

Dr. Germ. No kidding, that was the name of our first Dentist in Vienna. And our pediatrician is Dr. Doczy. Doctor Germ and Doctor Doc!  

Dr. Germ is incredibly nice, very good and speaks English really well. But somehow I wasn’t sold on him so I sought advice on the best in Vienna.

Unanamously Dr. Jens Busk’s name came up. Zayne and myself went to meet him. Our first impression was painted by the wonderful receptionist who greets you with a big smile.

Enter Dr. Busk. He is Icelandic which in it self speaks volumes. He practiced in California for 10 years and he has the kindest, most gentle manner.

On Zayne’s first visit he took Zayne through all the scary looking gadgets in his office. He sprayed Zayne with water, let Zayne spray him. He blew air on his forehead and let Zayne do the same. It was a 45 minute discovery channel journey that led Zayne to say “I want to be a dentist when I grow up.” How rare is that!

I’ve spent a lifetime running away from Dentists. I would rather visit the gynec and open my legs, than open my mouth. Dr. Busk has changed that. I am now a proud owner of a mouth guard and I’m going back for caps.

Dentists always seem to have a certain amount of disdain for their job and you sort of feel like they settled, but you can tell that Dr. Busk loves his job and takes pride in it.

For all of those who have put off going to a dentist, call Dr. Busk and drop jaw.

Smiles,

Ruchika 

Dr. Jens Busk
Lazarettgasse 33/32
1090 WienTelephone: 01-405 2100

E-Mail: office@jens-busk.at 

www.jens-busk.at

Best of Massage HANDS DOWN :-)

Ok, that depends. If you want candles, silk and scents this is not the place for you. If you want the stress kicked out of you this is. I mean, it's hardcore. You will feel pain, before you feel pleasure. It looks like the place that gives happy endings, and perhaps they do for the men folk, but it's heaven on earth for me.

Rough day, call Pham (she speaks English). I don't go to anyone else there. Pham is THE BEST. She is also a darling. I was having a really rough day, the kids hadn't slept, and waa, waa, waa as the song goes. I showed up and threw myself at her mercy.

I don't remember a thing, but I had woken up and my toes and fingernails had been painted and she sat smiling benovently. She had seen what a mess they were as as I was sleeping she brought out her personal kit and did this for me. It brought tears to my eyes. She didn't take a penny for it.

It's 62 Euros for an hour and everyone can spare that for a once a month mommy detox. Trust me you and your family will be better for it. THE BEST PART - wait for it, is that they are open till 10 p.m. on weeknights, so even if hubby comes home at 8, the kids are asleep and you can get out and get your relax on.

I warn you though - it's not pretty, just a mattress on the floor in tacky cheap looking cubicles, but really I'm not there for the scenery.

Enjoy!
Smiles,
Ruchika

http://www.gesundheit-massage.at/index.html

Chao Phraya
Salzgries 2
1010 Vienna
01/9582206

Opening Times:
Mo.-Fr. 11-22 Uhr
Sa. & Feiertag 12-20 Uhr

Best of Gyms

You could choose to tough it out, go bold, or just join Holmes Place and SMILE as you sweat. I despise working out, detest it, find it deplorable (I've run out of d words), but I actually enjoy stepping foot in this place.

First of all, it's beautiful. It tricks you into thinking you're at a spa before kicking your ass. Second, it has great classes and great machines and I don't seem to have to wait. I also like that they have an off hours special in terms of price. So I can workout from 8 a.m to 5 p.m. at a reduced rate. Drop the kids off to school and head here.

And here's the kicker - the eye candy is mozart kugel yummy. I still show up in torn tees, with a little bit of morning breakfast still hanging around from when Zayne decided to "paint" me with oatmeal, but at least looking out it's all good.

Go get into gear and join. If you know someone who is a member then it's 50 Euros for the first 3 months for you and the member. After three months it kicks up to a 100 Euros a month. They try to talk you into a heafty joining fee but say you don't want any personal trainer time and that comes down to 50 Euros as well. Also they have English speaking trainers if you so desire.

If you keep enlisting people you keep getting 50 Euros off your bill. So spread the love and we have 6 months till it turns warm so work it to shed it.

Ooooh and if you go at 11:00 p.m. you get to watch the celebrity sob stories on Larry King and hit the Soup Kultur below for some delicious, healthy soup for lunch!

All this info courtesy of the coolest Irish chick I know - Thanks Yvonne!

Smiles,

Ruchika

http://www.holmesplace.at/d/index.php

Holmes Place Health Club Wien - Boerseplatz

Wipplingerstraße 30
AT - 1010 Wien - Boerseplatz
Austria
Tel: +43 1 533 97 90 90
Fax: +43 1 533 97 90 95
Email: info@v2.holmesplace.at

Club Manager: Iain Scott-Bainbridge

Best of Mani/Pedi

After trying numerous places for my broken feet and child weary fingers, a dear friend, Jackie found the right artist! Her name is Catherine and she, too speaks fluent English and fantastic. Call her directly on her cell to make an appointment. She part times at the Opera and is an actress and a delight. She talks if you want to and doesn't when you don't.

My feet are perpetually cracked (as am I) and she does a paraffin wax that miraculously heals all breaks for a month. And if you're into red, she has the perfect red for your toes.

The best part of it all, is that she takes appointments after 6:30 p.m. in the evening so ask your husband to come home early one night and go indulge. It's in the Hotel Herrnhoff which is right next to Cafe Central. I like to "dry off" with a book and a coffee and take the long walk home. Vienna at night is enchanting.

Smiles,

Ruchika

Caroline Krammer

0664 40 88 279 o

Steigenberger Hotel Herrenhof

Herrengasse 10

1010 Wien

Austria

Phone +43 1 53404-0

Fax +43 1 53404-155

Best of Eyebrow Shape and Wax

I have tried the Sacher Spa, the corner Spa - Gesund and Schon, and countless others and either I end up looking like a hooker with thin lines of black coke across my forehead or like a furry beaver has thrown up on me.

This until I found Dani. Now, when you see me, you may disagree, but I think she rocks. And she charges 5 Euros for a half an hour of gentle care. Very few people take such pride in their work and she does.

Her English is flawless - she lived in NYC so feel free to unleash your best big and bright HELLO. She is totally accommodating and will even take you at night after your husband gets home.

By the way, I also hear she gives great facials, but I have sensitive skin and don't indulge. And if you're looking for a pretty gift certificate to get that doesn't break the budget she has nice ones to give.

Enjoy!

Dani Kosmetik
Mozartgasse 7
1040, Wien

+43 1 5054410